” Protecting” Your Boundaries

There have been many questions about boundaries lately, so I would like to offer you a few helpful tips and tools on the subject.

What are boundaries and why are they important?

From a Spiritual standpoint, our boundaries are ownership of self with love and only love. It defines who we are as a soul, mind, emotions and body. When we hold ourselves with love, beautiful things can happen. When we hold ourselves with doubt, hate, fear and other negative beliefs about ourselves and who we are in the world, we attract to us, (Law of Attraction) the energy we are putting out, consciously or unconsciously.

To this end, remember that setting a boundary with a defensive mindset attracts attack. Many people want stronger boundaries to defend themselves against someone or something. By Law of Attraction, they will get what they are trying to avoid. For example, if you are angry, you will get anger back. If you put out fear, you will get things that frighten you. Law of Attraction is as simple as that.

Yes, contributing to our experience are karma, lessons to be learned and core beliefs and patterns. Even with all this in play, the Law of Attraction still holds, and other people’s behavior and/or words say more about them than you, especially when you are utilizing the tools that follow.  

There are those people who do take the time and can see through our defenses to the truth of our hearts. These people are angels and treasures in our lives. However, it is not the world’s job to “see” beyond our defenses to the truth of our hearts, no matter how much we wish it to be so.

Knowing that we cannot change others, our “job” is self-love. When we love self, we create a boundary that negativity cannot influence. So, when we are grounded (connected with the Earth), connected with the Universe and hold love for ourselves, someone’s else’s negativity has little to no effect on us.

This is a complex and many layered subject. Here I wish to discuss the basics of creating energetic boundaries and healing those boundaries when they do get crossed.

  1. The Breath

Our energetic boundaries, and therefore our mental, emotional and physical boundaries, start with the breath. When we’re stressed, we tend to hold our breath or breathe too shallowly. This makes our aura (energy space around the body), which is one part of our boundary, more brittle or thinner. Both of these conditions create greater vulnerability to energies we do not want in our space.

Start by breathing slowly, deliberately and from the belly. Breath in, belly goes out. Breath out, belly comes in. This also calms the heart, brings down the blood pressure and the cortisol levels and clears the mind. Practice when you’re not stressed so this type of healing breath becomes more natural and is easier to remember and practice when your stress levels go up.

This type of breathing also resets the aura to a healthy field which is, ideally 24 – 30 inches, all the way around you, above your head and below your feet. This will give you space to process, receive healing energies, release negativity, a good boundary and be in the flow of energies from the Earth and the Universe.

The next step is critical in every aspect of our lives and that is the practice of self-love. Oh, but you say, “I don’t care about that. I want to know how to protect myself from….” And I repeat, boundaries are strongest and held in place by our self-love. If we are not practicing self-love, it sends a mixed message to Spirit about what you truly want and what you can receive. Mixed messages end up equaling a bit fat nothing. In other words, you will not get what you thought you were asking for.

  1. Self-Love

Here is an easy two step process that has powerful effects.

  1. Self-acknowledgement and self-love:
    Place your hands over your heart, preferably non-dominant hand first and dominate hand on top. Deep breath. Then say, “I love me” and your name. You may want to repeat this several times until your brain quiets enough so that you can actually feel your love for yourself.
  1. Next, with your hands still over your heart, you say, to yourself and the Universe, “Love and only love shall enter here, my space, my mind, my emotions and my body.”

You have now set the foundation for your boundaries in this Universe and on this planet utilizing the Law of Attraction.

Even if you don’t feel or believe these actions set your intention. This can boost your energy and does give Spirit, your guides and the Universe a clear message, and also permission to help you in a greater way.

Remember, being is resistance attracts the very thing you’re putting out. When you go into a defensive posture, you’re inviting a battle on some level. When you internalize that, you’re inviting the battle into your body, which creates pain and, in the worst case, dis-ease.

The other aspect of this is releasing what you’ve taken on, which is equally important. The longer you carry negative vibes, thought or beliefs, the more damaging they are. Most of us carry negativity that is not even ours. We carry it for other people, people we love and people who wish us harm. Carrying this around sends a message that you are open to accepting and carrying even more negativity. You can become the burden basket for those around you and even for people you do not know.

Ultimately, all negativity must be cleared in this life or the next or the next… Allow your life to be easier and a lot more fun by releasing negativity now.

  1. Clearing

I offer two meditations that will help fill you with love, release the old and reset your boundaries. Both of these are short, to the point and easy to remember and do.

  1. This one is great to do at the end of your workday or sometime in the evening before going to bed. We rest better and heal more deeply at night when we’re not processing the negativity we have picked up during the day.
    1. Hands over your heart and say:

      As I am breathing pure love through and through all that I am. I acknowledge, bless, release and transmute anything and everything that is in any and all aspects of my whole self that does not align with the truth of my heart in love and only love.

      Next, say this 3 to 4 times using the breath talked about earlier:

      Breathing in love, “Hello, thank you,” and breathing out, “goodbye.”

    2. And, I acknowledge, bless, release and turn over to Spirit (God or the Universe) anyone and everyone that is in any and all aspects of my whole self.

      Again, say this 3 – 4 times using the breath practiced earlier:

      Breathing in love, “Hello, thank you,” and breathing out, “goodbye.”

  2. This second meditation is for when you’re on the run and a negative thought or emotion arises. This does not stop your growth process. When you need to address an issue, it will come back at a more appropriate time.

    With your breath, either in your head or out loud, say the following:

    Breathing in love, say, “Love in.” Breathing out, “Chaos out.

    Repeat as many times as needed, until that thought, or feeling is gone.


These simple meditations are very powerful and will help you on your Spiritual path and in your everyday life. Our journey is to experience the joy of this planet. That starts with your breath and loving boundaries.

Blessings and loving boundaries each and every moment of each and every day!